1. What first attracted you to Satanism? How did you first discover The Church of Satan?
As a long standing Wiccan Priestess/teacher/bookstore owner/public activist I fought off accepting that I was a Satanist for years. I was hung up on what I perceived as feminism via goddess empowerment, on kindness which I was programmed (not by my atheistic parents or even Christian friends, but by Wiccans) to think Satanists lacked, and most of all because I have a real issue about rude and mean people, I was inclined to wear the biggest goddamned good guy badge I could find. I was that rare fighter who had to be a defender. I was led to believe that I couldn’t be that in Satanism.
Well, a time came when I needed to be fought for, and I had trained my covens and classes so well that magically they couldn’t fight for me due to that stupid three-fold-karma thing, and in the real world they wouldn’t fight for me because they were inherently chickenshit. My blossoming friendships with Satanists didn’t help either.
By the time I met Dr. LaVey I was pretty disenchanted with the whole thing. In my heart I finally realized what I actually was but counter-productive pride kept me in denial for several years more. Eventually I looked around and realized all the people I actually liked were Satanists, and I gave in to my nature.
2. If you have had or could have the chance to speak with Anton LaVey, what would you of liked to talk to him
about, what questions would you ask him?
We discussed movies, as he had known of my grandfather’s work as a screenwriter. We talked about Wicca’s developing (at that time) Jesus with tits dogma. The rest of that conversation is mine. If I had known that I would be joining in a few years I would have asked him a lot more.
3. If you had to name 5 satanic/occult books (outside of the works of Anton LaVey and Blanche Barton) that you
would recommend for others to read what would they be? Who is your favorite author?
The Satanic Scriptures/Gilmore, which now, by the way, should be placed in our dogmatic canon right up there with LaVey & Barton.
Bearing the Devil’s Mark/Paradise
Essays in Satanism/Sass
The Fire From Within/Nemo
Aradia: Gospel of the Witches/Leland
Most of the time
I read crap, schlock, commercial, popular fiction. I was raised on literature, you see, reading Shakespeare and Ovid at 6, Joyce at 10. By the time I could afford my own books I wanted someone to tell me a goddamned story. I’m the same way about movies, by the way. I am about as deep as a puddle.
Right now my favorite author is Christopher Moore, who is just plain funny. He kills me. My favorite of his (which actually IS NOT crap) is called Lamb: The Gospel of Biff, Christ’s Childhood Friend.
I also enjoy the recent trend of fictional accounts of historical characters, whodunnits by Fairstein, Deaver, and here is where even I wonder how the fuck I can read that crap- Patterson & Kellerman,. I love books that take place in my hometown of New York, be they fictional or otherwise.
4. What would you do if another Satanic Panic broke out in the media and America? What is the biggest threat
facing Satanism in our modern age?
Let me answer the second first., as it has become what I write about, defend against, and what stirs up all the occulty non-Satanists to absolute apoplexy. Our biggest, and if you scrape away all the symptoms, our only REAL problem is devil worshipers.
To clarify I am stating that our problem, in all of its retarded manifestations, is that devil worshipers have convinced themselves that they are simply another kind of Satanist. The nerve! The complete lack of self-awareness! The shame they bring upon us!
Christian heretics have somehow gotten the notion that if label themselves Theistic or Spiritual or Traditional they somehow legitimize their stolen (from Christianity) religion , and they negate the larceny of our name. It would be funny if they weren’t actually dangerous. Truth be told I’d happily escort them to the Hell they actually identify as a real place—that they are looking forward to. I wonder why they don’t, you know, take matters in their own hands. I guess it would just be too efficient.
They are the root of just about everything that ails us. Sure, Christians would still hate us without these idiots, BUT they’d hate us appropriately–for our self-divinity and carnal acceptance. They could decry our lack of faith, and reliance on study, but without these cunts (credit for that to UVRay) no one would see us as dangerous is a criminal way, anymore. But no, these idiots are the religious equivalent of the mullet actually bringing back much of the crap that we were accused of during the Satanic Panic
As for what I would do , the short answer is exactly what I do already, anyway. Not that individual Satanists need my help. The Panic was highly educational for us. Satanists are perfectly comfortable being stoic, and most of us have created lives where we could easily adapt to playing possum. Not me though. Nope. No, Sir.
Earlier I mentioned that my nature is that of defender. Add to that intense and overwhelming maternal instincts, and a love of teaching. Mix them together and what you get is in advocate/activist. Only this one shaves, bathes and dresses nothing like a hippy.
Given that I was quite lucky that I had already been doing media for a couple of decades when I joined the CoS. In fact it was at a Geraldo taping that I met HP Peter Gilmore in 92 or 93–I am lousy with years. Because of that I was granted the privilege of doing media regarding the CoS while just an Active Member.
It isn’t about seeing myself on TV or my name in print. Actually if you ask around you’ll find I watch my interviews once and then literally can’t bear to watch them again. I read the articles, once, just to make sure I am not misquoted–remember that you— so it isn’t about self-promotion per se. It is actually a need to be needed.
I need to defend the things and people I love. It has always been a part of my nature and in recent years it has become my raison d’etre as I have developed the ability to read my audience and respond to them and adapt my message. The easiest way to describe why I am effective at it—meaning making the mainstream listen BEFORE they light the bonfires is that I am just different enough to be interesting and just normal enough to be non-threatening to the viewers/reader/herd. I have heard many a Christian bemoan my suits or my white minivan or any of the other Mommy accoutrements that are a genuine part of my life. They desperately want my normalcy to be an act evidently unaware that EVERYONE”S, normalcy is an act!
Anyway, returning to history, please keep in mind that Wiccans got their fair share of shit during the last Satanic Panic–which, if you ask me, was three fold karma for lying about Satanists and throwing them under the bus, and they/I suffered. I had a car drive through the front window and directly into my store. I had death threats, I was assaulted. Picketing, prayer vigils, vandalism, murdered pets, my kids terrorized and ostracized and I wasn’t even identified as a Satanist then. In 1990 being a witch was bad enough.
Yet I made it through and I learned much. Throughout the 80’s I won a whole bunch of silly civil rights awards from the Neo-Pagan community which actually meant something to me back then. Now, knowing how easily they abandoned me because I refused to hold the party line and vilify Satanists for the sake of having a scapegoat to throw at the mainstream , I am glad they were lost in one of a gazillion moves over the years.
18 years later I have been occasionally surprised at a more open attitude towards Satanism by some Wiccans and Neo-Pagans I have met. Some are genuinely intrigued. Some, I suspect, were like me—Satanic to the core, but refusing to admit it to themselves. Maybe once they learn about Satanism they’ll pick up a fucking razor and discover the delights of bra shopping at Victoria’s Secret. But I digress.
During the last round of witch hunts that we call the Satanic Panic I know for a fact I genuinely changed attitudes and helped bring about the end of it. From 85 to 94 I had to have done well over 200 television interviews, double that on talk radio. The newspaper articles about the witch could fill a multitude of litter boxes. I can’t even count how many lectures and Q & A’s at colleges and universities I did. Am I gloating? Yeah, a bit but I am particularly proud of the several years that I was asked to speak at the local police academy to explain why Satanists and Witches were not the criminals but, given the climate, were more likely to be the victims of religious crimes (yeah, I know, we Satanists hate being perceived as victims or weak, but we aren‘t made of steel and back then we were radically outnumbered by those whose fear made them angel dust strong,).
So, while very, very small, I count my contribution as one the of the many factors that helped bring an end to that regrettable period. I am proud to be counted, as a tiny percentage, with about 20 other activists, a bunch of ethical medical/psychiatric professionals, a few honest authors, and, most of all, the trinity of super-heroes who finally slew the dragon that was the Panic: Kenneth Lanning of the FBI and two, believe it or not, Christians who had the decency to tell the truth , Mike Hertenstein and Jon Trott.
So when you ask where I’ll be, I can say with honesty, and a lot more ammunition than I had last time, that I will be directly on the front lines. I will challenge every lie, I will clarify every misconception, and I will demonstrate just what a Satanist is, as a neighbor, as a contributor, and as a dangerous and effective enemy. This time we might just scare them off the field before the drop of blood hit’s the ground.
And, the irony is that it is all about love.
In the world of people I love my fiancée’ and my children and grandchild above all things, then my parents, about a dozen people from growing up/high school who I maintain relationships with (including an ex-husband and his family,) and then the members of the Church of Satan. Truly. Not all, of course. That would be silly. I sure as Hell don’t even come close to knowing .0000010, BUT I can say of the members I have met it is downright freaky how many of them I have either fell in love with at first sight (platonic, obviously) or grown to love as if they were family.
I know a lot of traditional church preachers will go on about how the flock are a family once a member kicks the bucket. They also say to love your neighbor and everyone is your neighbor and blah blah blah, eat me! Their love is available at the dollar store.
I am talking about a love that is earned by admiration, talent, dedication, what we have in common, and just as important, what is unique. I am talking about honesty, the kind where you can admit what you lack and gloat about what you have, and both are equally met with compassion, and if called for, brutality—and yes, sometimes love demands brutal honesty.
So, if ever there comes a time, be it a small blog read by 20 people lying about us, or a Senate hearing trying to find a First Amendment loophole to abolish us, that is where you’ll find me. And while I have been known to lose a battle or two, I never lose a war..
5. Artificial Environments. Artificial Human Companions. Both terms invented by LaVey. How much of a role do these two things play a role in your life? Do you have any suggestions on how to create these environments or companions for other Satanists?
Artificial/Total Environments thrill and inspire me. Artificial Companions do nothing for me until they can do housework. ‘just not my deal. I hope they end up creating really good sexual ones so more marriages that are foiled by sex issues might stand a chance but I turn red and giggle with embarrassment over a fucking vibrator–’just not my bag.
It is not by chance alone that I live minutes from Disney. In terms of fun I am about 11 years old. Give me castles and talking chipmunks and roller coasters that make you believe you are hurling through space….heaven! Disney is so amazing, and I get really bored with ultra-cool people who allow the commercialism interfere with both their good time, and if they are loud and grumpy, mine. I have been known to literally walk up to assholes and remind them “Hey! You’re in the fucking happiest place on Earth, get with the goddamned program!” They look shocked and indignant but their kids are delighted.
The parks aside, the two dozen hotels that are on property each have a theme, and it is monument of achievement in total environmentalism. The rooms, the costumes of the staff, the décor, everything is designed to take you to another place and time. One day Jim and I will be married there, of this I am certain. What I am not certain of is which one!??? Will we go for turn of the century southern gentility at the Grand Floridian? Eternal Mardi Gras at French Quarter Port Orleans Resort? Perhaps have a giraffe nibbling on the branches of a tree beside the balcony at Animal Kingdom Hotel? Polynesian? Contemporary (with monorail running through it–uber nifty?) As of now I am torn between the Boardwalk Hotel that reminds you of that sort of 1930’s Atlantic City vibe, and the Wilderness Lodge that is based on the National Park Lodges a la Teddy Roosevelt with art and furnishings from the Pacific Northwest.
Anyway, I used to live in a stereotypical Satanic environment. I had the black walls and the scary stuff and usually lived by candlelight and everything was all occulty and it was pretty cool. One morning I woke up and determined two things . First, my religion wasn’t contained in my décor, and secondly, if I woke up to black one more day I was gonna go postal. Later I realized it was my situation, not my walls that was depressing me, but at the time I flew to Home Depot (which reminds me, check out my blog and support Home Depot,) bought peach colored paint and attempted to be normal. Suffice to say that worked out as well as black. The inherent dilemma was me. I hadn’t figured out enough about me to determine what my perfect environment was. As the list of hotels above prove, I still haven’t.
Other than Fred, the life-sized gargoyle outside of the front door, with a few exceptions my house is the ultimate in white bread. I even call the house Casa White Bread. Oh, yeah! I forgot. My bedroom is decorated a la Cheshire Cat. Seriously. I am 45 and I collect stuffed Cheshire Cats and Cheshire Cat knick knacks and bedding, etc…Cheshire Cat is very meaningful to me and my middle age resolution to simply enjoy the things I love without firm direction or intent– after all, the Gospel according to Kitty says “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” At this juncture, I am cool with that.
Much more impressive than my current white bread theme at home are some of the total environments of many of the CoS members. I am blown away by the creativity and diversity.
6. How important is ritual to you in your life as a Satanist? Is ritual absolutely necessary for magic to work it’s
effects? And do you think the act of conducting magic in ritual a ‘faith based’ idea or it is more scientific than that?
As a Wiccan witch and teaching HP I did so many rituals and spells that in all honesty, I welcomed Satanism’s lack of compulsory rituals. Lesser magic/psychology and for lack of a better word, manipulation have always been comfortable and natural for me., Once I had done the ones listed in TSB and some from TSR it was several years before I adapted some of my own and then they were solidly done with intent. I am a very successful ritual magician and my spell work is a kind of neat creation that draws on, face it, a boatload of traditions and cultures. Satanism allowed me to use something I always possessed but was frowned upon in my previous religious adventure: I had the right to know, accept, and proudly declare that the magic I do, both the power and the beauty of what I do is MINE. I may want to be Rhiannon, putting those who dare to chase me to sleep, and I can pretend to be her, even use her stories as poetry, her words as a magical language, but there is no goddess Rhiannon swimming about the cosmos, waiting like a anticipating bride to be called to do my bidding. I have the power. I am the magic. Faith doesn’t enter into it. Faith is for those who are too weak, scared, or cowardly to take personal responsibility.
Better still, I love a good cursing! If you get stuck in those white light religions they act like you can face criminal charges for having angry thoughts. They are worse than Christians who at least utilize wrath, even if they call it God’s will.
At some point I realized that it is more dangerous, more “bad” to not curse than to take the chance and get it thrown back at you. Many RHP people will say “Oh! You can’t curse that child molester. It is wrong and you’ll get it back three times over.” Cowards! My Defender mode turns itself on and besides the fact that I am utterly dubious that there is a cosmic scorekeeper doing his 3’s on a multiplication chart I have to ask what asshole isn’t willing to take the punishment when you could potentially rid the world of a child molester? Curse the mother-fucker and do it good! Yes indeed, nothing beats a good cursing. Really, why bother being a witch if you can’t curse the living shit out of someone who deserves it?
That said I haven’t done anything magical since 6/6/6. No need. That sucker carried me for a good long time.
Lately, however, there is a certain surgeon I am none too fond of.
7. If Hell was real, who might you first try to contact when you arrive there?
My son who is only 15 and a young 15 at that, says that even in Christian mythology they should appreciate Satan because he punishes those who do bad things. If that is the case, I am not going. I know my heart, and if I am wrong and there is some divine creator, they know my heart as well. I assure you, as heavy metal as it may sound, I’ve already done Hell.
If I am wrong again, I will look for all my CoS friends. I love them, they will keep me entertained and learning for eternity. NIFTY!
8. If you could change this world in any way whatsoever what exactly would you change?
I think you could fix the whole world in one or two generations if every human was reversibly sterilized at birth. And to breed you had to get a license to prove the following:
You earn enough to support a child or children until they reach majority. Single parents would have to have a certain amount in escrow because in a couple if one loses income the other can pick up the slack. If a couple divorces they each need to put the money in escrow before the divorce is final/they move out.
You must be genetically tested prior to marriage, so you know in advance if you‘ll be allowed to breed, or if single and genetically unsuitable you can go on the list and potentially adopt kids created on those rare occasions of new and previously undetected genetic illnesses. Why? Because that is what you would have had anyway, and for the sake of emotionally healthy families raising kids who are likewise, it is too stressful to have broken siblings. Sad, but true.
Yes I know once a baby with a handicap is born their parents love them, and they have value and politically correct stuff that I really do have empathy for. I cry over Shriners commercials, I give to Jerry’s kids, I have even been known to go completely off at people ridiculing handicapped kids, no matter what the situation. Suffering destroys me, and likewise I want to destroy it.
But it is hard to deny that I wouldn’t need fucking empathy if all babies were born without genetic malfunctions. Let’s eradicate Downs, and Spina Bifida! Imagine the joy of knowing your kid won’t or at least is highly unlikely to shake to death from Parkinson’s or have a diabetic seizure that forces parents to decide whether or not to pull the plug. In matters of reproduction I give the middle finger to God’s master plan, and long to use science in a way that literally, not rhetorically , or hypothetically, helps mankind.
Lastly, the higher the combined IQ of a couple the more children they will be permitted to have. We claim to understand that we are animals and yet, due to our alleged compassion (more suffering, less death), we do the opposite of animals in nature. The least fit breed the most. Stupidity has been painful long enough—mostly for the people who aren’t.
1 or 2 generations, 3 tops ….imagine…
9. Please tell me about any projects you might have and where you’re at in the online world.
I am currently in pre, and doing some actual production for Radio Free Satan’s The Culture Cauldron With Lady Ygraine. Unlike my activism this is a show about what real Satanists love and do. I have spent decades telling people what we do not do. Now I want to talk about what brings us joy. I want to share the reason why I am so very passionate about our church and it’s members.
Much to my dismay I have been ill, had surgery and am still not quite all better, so it has been delayed, but we are getting there, and by we I mean myself and my co-producer and buddy and occasional co-host, Citizen Jon Thibeaux aka Caudell.
In the meantime I continue my written assault on the dime store heretics and wanna be Satanists. I remain amazed that they often contact me somehow believing I could not possible be talking about them. Just now!-!!! I am sitting in Jim’s den typing this and I check my mail and, I cannot make up the fact that Damien Blackstone, of the Temples of Satan, wants to be my friend. Well…..we will certainly have a bit of correspondence.
I now publish on several different sites. I hope others enjoy these listed here:
There Is Only One Form of Satanism
Magistra Ygraine on Myspace
I also work for hire. Readings, spell work, private lessons and lectures–I do for clients who find me online. I am really rather expensive, but, if you want proven results and extensive experience, you want me.
10. Any final thoughts or anything you’d like to share?
As I mentioned previously, my one activist focus, my one true goal, the thing I’d like to accomplish before I shuffle off the planet is to see a time when the word Satanism is mentioned, anywhere in the world, be it a mall in Toledo or a massage parlor in Thailand, and there is never any question what it is and what it means. Can you just imagine the sheer simplicity, pride, and joy of never being confused with a disgusting, dependent, weak, bowing, kneeling, begging Christian Heretic/Devil Worshiper again? I only regret that Dr. LaVey didn’t get to see it, but, I am pretty confident that with dedication and a really big mouth at it, his son will.